How Are We Defining Happiness?

In 1776, Thomas Jefferson penned the words that would echo through history:

“…that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

These words were not simply a poetic flourish—they reflected a deep understanding of philosophy, one that Jefferson, an avid reader of Aristotle, likely connected with the Greek concept ofeudaimonia.

Aristotle described eudaimonia as the highest form of human flourishing, achieved through virtuous living, strong character, and meaningful social bonds.

But what does happiness mean today?

According tothe World Happiness Report, six factors determine a nation's happiness:

1. Income
2. Health
3. Social support
4. Freedom to make life decisions
5. Generosity
6. The absence of corruption

These components closely mirror Jefferson’s vision of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Yet despite living in an era of unprecedented convenience and opportunity, many in our generation struggle with unhappiness, anxiety, and a pervasive sense of dissatisfaction.

So, what went wrong?

I believe its largely because of the absence of mentorship in modern society.

Aristotle emphasized that a person’s character—shaped by habits and guided by mentorship—was central to a flourishing life. He saw mentorship not as a luxury but as a necessity for cultivating wisdom, resilience, and social responsibility. Yet, in today’s world, strong mentor-mentee relationships have become increasingly rare.

When we invert Aristotle’s formula for happiness, we find the root causes of our collective unhappiness:

• A lack of mentorship and guidance
• Poor habits formed in the absence of discipline
• Excess and indulgence replacing moderation
• Rampant hypersensitivity rather than resilience
• A loss of moral grounding and sense of justice
• Struggles with forming and maintaining friendships
• Apathy toward civic engagement and community

Of all these, the absence of mentorship stands out as the foundational issue. Without guidance, young people are left to navigate life’s complexities alone, often falling into destructive habits.

In earlier generations, mentorship was woven into the fabric of society—through family, community leaders, apprenticeships, and even religious or philosophical instruction. Today, social media and fleeting digital interactions have replaced these deep, formative relationships.

Reclaiming Happiness Through Mentorship

To restore a sense of meaning and fulfillment, we must prioritize mentorship in our personal and professional lives. Parents, teachers, and leaders must recognize their responsibility to guide the next generation, not just with knowledge, but with wisdom. Seeking out mentors—and becoming one ourselves—can foster resilience, character, and purpose.

Happiness is not simply a product of material success or personal freedom; it is cultivated through relationships, values, and the pursuit of excellence. If we wish to see a happier generation, we must first rebuild the lost art of mentorship.

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I finished wiping shit off my screaming daughter’s butt cheeks, and my nostrils were assaulted by the sweet and steamy plume of several-days-old feces basting in the diaper pail. I’d long lost my sense of disgust; the sharp hit of reality was almost appealing, really.

The moment was passing almost as fast as the day had. My son shot up between my legs and wailed for me to just fucking pick him up. My hands moved on autopilot as I finished getting my daughter ready for bed and finally got her off the changing table. Then, I picked up my son and did it all over again.

Ass. Wiped.

Nostrils. Blasted.

Mind. Melted.

I shut off the lights to remind my children it was time to start simmering down. They rebelled, knowing the day was coming to an end and their tyrant father would soon be forcing them to go quietly into the night. I wrangled them onto my lap and rocked violently on the rocking chair as if the swift movement would make them forget they were screaming.

There has never been any reasoning with these little goblins. They haven’t quite grasped that aspect of humanity just yet. The world is still so fresh and vibrant that they grasp for every waking moment they can get their hands on.

I know they like cartoons. That would quiet them, but it would also keep them up until the tyrant decides to shut it off. I figured they might do well with some calming music. That would put me to sleep, not them. I swayed slightly, trying to soothe myself, and it hit me — perhaps a calming musical. Something like, The Sound of Music.

Yes.

My thumbprint brought my phone screen to life and then fluttered to the YouTube icon. I typed, My Favorite Things, and the darkness consuming my children’s bedroom was filled with the soft golden glow of Julie Andrews’s Maria as she sang in her room to the seven von Trapp children, soothing them through the thunderstorm.

That melody had once soothed my little brother when he was about the age my children were just then. The screaming stopped. They rested their little heads on my chest, and their eyes glimmered as they watched Julie Andrews sing beautifully.

The clip quickly came to an end, and my daughter excitedly begged for another. I needed something longer that might perhaps whisk them to sleep.

I typed, A Lovely Night — La La Land.

My children’s reaction to that momentous scene in cinematic history made me realize I had been wrong about parenting all my life. I’d been working so hard to instill habits and rigid structure to ensure my children would become the best little humans around, but all I was doing was drizzling my grey habits, dull routines, and logic over their still-vibrant canvas of the world.

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone tap-dancing jazzily across the screen while singing their playful lyrics created a work of art that sparked my children’s wonder and rekindled the fire of curiosity inside me as I watched it happen. That little moment made me realize that art can sometimes revitalize our lives by allowing us to see through the lens of curiosity and possibility — as if we were one or two years old again.

Parenting didn’t have to mean smothering my children’s creativity with structure. Instead, it could mean letting their wonder guide me — even as I’m guiding them. It reminded me that life isn’t just about routines or rules; it’s about the moments of beauty and spontaneity that keep us connected to the world, to art, and to each other. And in those quiet, golden moments, I rediscovered a part of myself I’d forgotten: the part that sees magic in the mundane and finds joy in the unexpected.

Here on NOSTR, I want to show the world that life is a scroll riddled with ink. The marks will only ever be simple blots on the parchment unless you pause and perceive them for the characters they are.

I’m constantly thinking about what the future could look like if we just take action.

More of my thoughts about the future and the world around us are coming soon here and on Medium.

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If you are interested in Fiction writing, visit my NOSTR page Fervid Fables.

We fancy ourselves sophisticated animals - clever toolmakers and relentless innovators. Ingenuity, we believe, sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. We clothe ourselves, build machines to save time and energy, and yet, somehow, we remain deaf to the relentless squeaking of a far more profound wheel.

Not the wheels of our cars or the gears driving the machines that sustain modern life, but a wheel few of us see or acknowledge. The wheel that, for all our intelligence, makes us no different from a hamster running endlessly in its cage.

The hamster's wheel is innocent - it spins for exercise, for a fleeting distraction. Ours, however, is far more sinister, propelling us in a ceaseless race toward ambitions we barely understand.

The hamster wouldn't even have a wheel to run on, were it not for us - the inventors of its cage. What does that say about the wheels we've built for our selves?

Collective Unconscious

Think I'm full of it? Ask yourself: what does it really mean to live a good life?

At any stage of life, the answer might sound familiar to those around you. A student might say it's about getting good grades, attending a prestigious school, and eventually building a family. A young professional might define it as landing a coveted promotion or hitting a certain salary milestone. For a parent, a good life might be one where their children grow into successful, functional members of society.

No matter where you are in life, the concept of progress seems inescapable. Whatever you believe constitutes a good life, it likely aligns with the idea that progress is essential. Achieving goals, moving forward, and hitting milestones - this is what we equate with a good life.

It's an idea so pervasive that it might feel inevitable, even natural.

Carl Jung might have called this an archetype of the collective unconscious: a deeply ingrained idea that subconsciously shapes how we think and act as a society.

We see patterns in nature and mirror them, claiming that moving forward is the only just path. The idea that "Backward" connotes failure or misdirection, is embedded in our collective mythos. This belief silently influences our individual and collective goals, often without our explicit awareness.

The idea of progress influences individual choices, directs institutions, and codifies laws into our governments.

Lifting the Veil

Once you recognize how deeply this idea permeates everything we do in life, it becomes almost impossible to ignore. It's like the uncanny feeling when someone points out that you have something stuck in your teeth - you immediately wonder how long it's been there before anyone mentioned it.

Consider how the idea of progress has shaped not only your personal aspirations but also our collective societal goals.

A "good" career is often defined as one that propels society forward. Jobs in tech, for example, are celebrated with yips and hoorays, while jobs in waste management are met with quiet prayers for better opportunities. Tech jobs shape the future, while waste management deals with the shadows of today - shaded by the scraps and remnants of yesterday's meals. One is seen as advancing society, while the other is viewed as stagnant, burdened with managing the detritus of the present.

Governments, too, prioritize growth and innovation, aiming to boost Gross Domestic Product (GDP) by investing in scientific breakthroughs and space exploration. In contrast, social welfare programs are often dismissed as wasteful, mired in outdated "backward", communist, political ideologies.

Even religions, which serve as bastions of conservatism and tradition, now seek fresh approaches to attract young followers.

This relentless pursuit of progress has broken down cultural barriers, fostering a universal appeal for modernity. Yet, in doing so, it has eroded cultural diversity, imposing a singular vision of what it means to be "modern." Consider the way a modern person dresses, what image does that conjure in your mind? How might that conflict with the multitude of cultures in the world whose dress might seem a bit "backward".

While most of us, whether consciously or unconsciously, continue along this path of progress, there's often a nagging sense that something is off. We witness the environmental consequences of prioritizing short-term gains over ecological sustainability, as though progress demands we sacrifice one to achieve the other.

And still, we forge ahead - into the uncharted territories of genetic engineering and artificial intelligence - despite the glaring risks that anyone with even the slightest imagination can foresee. Progress, it seems, is a force we cannot stop, even when the outcomes may lead us to question if it was worth the cost.

The Duality of Progress

I admit I may have come off a bit strong up to this point. It might seem as though I'm condemning progress outright. However, my intent is not to dismiss progress but to highlight its pervasive grip on society worldwide.

Humanity didn't always carry this relentless obsession with progress - it's not some inherent "brain virus" we were born with. We can trace its roots to the Enlightenment, roughly 340 years ago. During that period, the modern framework of progress began to take hold, coinciding with the founding of what would become the United States. It's no coincidence, perhaps, that this nation has since led the charge in declaring progress as the only just way forward - a belief rooted in Enlightenment ideals of reason and innovation.

No doubt, much good has come from the pursuit of progress. Where would we be if we had never dared to defy "God's will" and create cures for once-deadly diseases? Who would have been driven to invent flying machines or automobiles, tools that maximize the brief time each individual has on this planet?

Progress has also shattered oppressive systems, freeing entire groups, cultures, and classes from the bonds of slavery and servitude as human rights have advanced.

Should we take progress for granted? Is it simply an inevitable outcome, a path we only need to follow until we arrive at utopia?

Countless works of literature explore the folly of anchoring one's aspirations to the idea of perpetual progress. The Great Gatsby offers a poignant example through the life of Jay Gatsby. For him, the goal was to become "The Great Gatsby" - the richest, most admired version of himself - believing that this transformation might fill the void in his heart and finally earn him true love.

This void isn't unique to Jay Gatsby. Despite living in what is statistically considered the best time to be alive in the history of mankind, we also face an era marked by the highest recorded rates of mental health issues, particularly in the most "advanced" nations.

It seems the mythos of progress is not something to be taken lightly. It is neither inherently good nor bad, but it must be approached with awareness and understanding, not blind faith.

Why Few Understand the Progression Paradigm's Influence

You don't know what you don't know. And when you know something too well, it can start to feel like an undeniable, objective truth rather than a cultural construct. This makes it all the more difficult to recognize when we're blindly following a path laid out for us.

We're taught to believe in a "natural" progression of humanity - from hunter-gatherers to industrialized societies - yet we often overlook the sideways steps and detours humanity has taken along the way. As far as I know, every person educated in institutionalized schools has been introduced to this narrative of human civilization, meaning many of us have been drinking the Kool-Aid from an early age.

This mythos embeds itself even further in our media and politics, shaping our worldview. But, like noticing something stuck in your teeth, once you become aware of it, it's hard to ignore - and you feel compelled to act.

Another gift of the Enlightenment, the scientific method, teaches us that truths about nature can be uncovered through experimentation. Yet these "truths" hold only as long as they aren't disproven.

So, what is there to disprove here?

Progression is always good for mankind.

 Taken to its logical conclusion, it wont always be. I desperately hope we don't get to the point to when we can definitively prove that.

Man Evolves but the World and His Mind Vanish

Single-minded pursuit of progress at all costs is inherently all-consuming. Left unchecked, it threatens to erode both our physical and mental well-being, transforming humanity into something entirely unrecognizable. We are on the brink of such a transformation with the rise of genetic engineering, bio-technologies, and artificial intelligence.

Joe Rogan aptly describes this phenomenon as the "human cocoon." Much like a caterpillar mindlessly consuming leaves on a branch, humanity has ceaselessly innovated and progressed, weaving itself into a cocoon of technology. One day, just as the caterpillar emerges as a butterfly - an organism almost entirely different from its former self - we too may evolve into something radically altered: a technological being fully divorced from the organic nature that binds us to this planet.

Perhaps he's right. But if we awaken to the grip this narrative of relentless progress holds over our civilization, we may still have a chance to shape a different future. By adopting an interdisciplinary approach, we can ensure we do not succumb to the pitfalls of becoming the techno-larvae Rogan warns of.

Incorporating regional ethics rooted in cultural beliefs and ecological principles into our discussions about progress could provide a more sustainable and equitable path forward. This active, conscious approach would enable humanity to navigate its evolution while remaining connected to the organic world that sustains us.

A Pillar Of The Family

Children are born into chaos.

Nature is tumultuous, its in a constant state of flux and your child’s soul begins in much the same way. It is formless and malleable, it will take the form of what surrounds it.

As a father, you’ve taken form.

Years of chaos have hardened and settled you to something more permanent, a pillar. In partnership with your spouse you’ll build a structure around your little balls of chaos and, in time, their chaos will settle too.

What becomes of them is up to you.

The lessons you teach will define the shape of the structure you place over your children. The strength in you as a pillar holding this whole thing up will be determined by the intentionality of your convictions.

The task will not be easy, but, believe me, it sure as hell will be the most important thing you do.

It will serve as the lens through which your children perceive the world around them.

It will crystallize in the glass within the mirror where they’ll gaze at their own reflection. Whether they smile or frown at what they see staring back, will be on you.

Whether society seeks to embrace or exile them. It will be on you.

Whether they choose to revel or rebel in the face of the world they live in. It will be on you.

Luckily, you don’t have to construct your convictions in solitude. The Nature of Justification, Circularity, and Epistemic Certainty are 3 tenets that philosophers such as Rene Descartes (1596–1650), John Locke (1632–1704), Pyrrho of Elis (360–270 BCE), and Wilfrid Sellars (1912–1989) [coupled together by epistemological school of thought] have grappled with, and if followed, will solidify the way you form the lessons you teach your children in a manner that will follow a logical clarity and grant you self-confidence.

Epistemology- Foundationalism VS Coherentism

“Why is the sky blue?” is a question many children ask.

A parent might answer with, “Because of the reflection of the sunlight against the blue ocean.”

“Why is the ocean blue?”

This would continue infinitely, but likely, most parents either end up with a question they don’t have an answer for or just attempt to distract their children with something else.

A child keeps asking follow up questions because something inside them seeks an innate truth. Your children will be no different and will seek the same. Luckily for you, there were Philosophers who’ve endeavored to arrive at this innate truth, the answer lying at the bottom of the endless pit of questioning. They were known as Epistemologists: people who study knowledge.

Are you ready for this? The Nature of Justification, Circularity, and Epistemic Certainty are among several of the key questions Epistemologists asked themselves and over time, two schools of thought among philosophers took form.

One school of thought was the Foundationalists, those like Rene Descartes (1596–1650) and John Locke (1632- 1704) who believed that there are indeed certain unbreakable foundations of knowledge in which a person’s convictions arise from having beliefs grounded in self-evident or inarguable foundations.

Another school of thought was the Coherentists, those like Pyrrho of Elis (360–270 BCE) and Wilfrid Sellars (1912–1989) who believed that conviction comes from the harmony and logical coherence of one’s very thoughts.

I suggest figuring out where you stand in the philosophical debate to remain logically sound and confident in yourself as a major pillar for your family. This will help you deal with complex obstacles to parenting when teaching ethics, morals, and other life sculpting lessons.

Coming To Grips With The Nature of Justification

**A Foundationalist’s lens:
**
“I think, therefore I am,” are the famous words written by Rene Descartes. It was what formed his Cogito Argument which proposed that the very fact he knows he exists proves that, at the very minimum, his existence is undoubtedly true.

Among being a prominent mathematician, Descartes was a religious man. He found refuge in his Judeo-Christian faith by justifying his Cogito Argument with the fact that there exists a benevolent and non-deceptive God. He argued that a benevolent God would never deceive him in his clear and distinct perceptions.

I know that I exist and God wouldn’t deceive me in this fact. This formed the justification for innate truth.

**Grappling with Foundationalism:
**
As a father following this path, choose to establish religion or natural law as your north star when standing by your convictions. The answer to the infinite questions will always be this foundation. You would answer, “Because God intended it to be this way” or “Because that is how it works in nature.”

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
Lessons following this method may lead your children to be very confident adults who don’t seek much change because they intimately understand where they stand in the world and where they belong. [MY OPINION]

**A Coherentists Lens:
**
Coherentists rejected the idea of foundational beliefs and argued that justification comes from the coherence of beliefs within a system.

In a very distilled manner, they didn’t care for the chicken before the egg argument. They believed the egg didn’t matter without the chicken. In the context of the very system in which a chicken and egg exists, one is nothing without the other and the order which they follow doesn’t matter and is a waste of time to think about.

In the times of ancient Greece, philosophers known as skeptics took to the streets to challenge the societal norms of the era. What was often understood as deliberately contrarian would later solidify a coherent method of philosophy that sought a path to empirical investigation of reality that could lead to the most reliable knowledge. This kind of thinking is what gave rise to the scientific method.

Pyrrho of Elis, founder of Pyrrhinian skepticism, advocated for a form of skepticism that involved the suspension of judgment (Epoche) in order to achieve tranquility (Ataraxia). He argued that since human beings cannot know the true nature of things, it is wiser to refrain from making dogmatic claims about the world.

**Grappling with Coherentism:
**
As a father following this path, choose to better understand the current society, the era, and what kind of world your children will be living in when standing by your convictions. The answer to the infinite questions will always follow a similar formula: “Well, son, we live in [x society] and here, people find [x] to be true based on [x]”

Your convictions will not be defined by a “North Star” like a foundationalist’s would, but rather by a systematic approach that always follows the questions by explaining the system.

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
This approach will guarantee your children will be able to fit in any situation or group of people without much confrontation and because of this, they may seek to travel extensively. They’ll have a thirst to venture out and take part in other world cultures. [MY OPINION]

Coming To Grips With Circularity

A Foundationalists Lens:

John Locke was a colossal figure in western philosophy whose writings went so far as to pave the way for modern capitalist economies. Chief among his writings was “An Essay Concerning Human Understanding” where he wrote his epistemological arguments.

Finding a more foundationalist approach to the study of knowledge, he warned of “Trifling Propositions” or reasoning in a circle and was highly cautious about the misuse of language and the potential for circular reasoning.

Locke emphasized the importance of clear and distinct ideas and cautioned against using words without a clear understanding of their meaning.

**Grappling with Foundationalism:
**
As a father following this path, be intentional in the words you say and tie them to your foundational beliefs. Here, words have definitive meanings and don’t leave room for interpretation.

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
Your children will not be easily persuaded or fall for propaganda as they will have an intimate understanding of the lexicon they use and will raise objections when words are not used the way they were intended to be used. [MY OPINION]

**A Coherentists Lens:
**
Wilfrid Sellars was an American philosopher and prominent developer of critical realism, who revolutionized both the content and the method of philosophy in the United States.

Wilfrid contended that circular reasoning was not particularly problematic. He emphasized the importance of conceptual frameworks and language in forming beliefs and rejected the idea of a conceptual given as the starting point of knowledge.

He famously refuted the “Myth of the given” and argued that any experience is inherently shaped by the conceptual framework through which it is interpreted and it is in circular reasoning that one can process the interconnectedness of said framework.

**Grappling with Coherentism:
**
As a father following this path, explore the origins of words with your children and guide them through the evolution of understanding. Here, words have a life and a history and you may uncover lessons in following the course of that history.

Your Children as an Adult:

Your children will be interested in the contemporary utility of words. They’ll better understand slang and dialects and will be more contemplative before taking action. They may not be as decisive as they’ll find themselves in circular thought when arriving at a decision. [MY OPINION]

Coming To Grips With Epistemic Certainty

**A Foundationalists Lens:
**
Returning to Descartes, we see how mathematical proofs and religious text can be used as the progenitors of truth.

Certainty is guaranteed by an external source. Math allows us to be incredibly precise in our measurements of the physical world and we can predict with great levels of accuracy actions and reactions. Likewise, religious texts define how one should live their life and what the results of such a path will be. Every action has a predictable reaction.

**Grappling with Foundationalism:
**
As a father following this path, you must be an expert in the source which validates your certainty. If you are going to use religion as the guarantor of certainty for your convictions you must intimately understand the religious text you’ll be drawing from. Try to steer clear from interpretation of the text. Seek help from experts when you don’t know something and use expert guidance in your teachings. If you’re not particularly religious, find a coherent thread of natural law and become an expert in it or seek out experts to help formulate your lessons.

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
The source of your teachings will be intimate parts of your children’s identity. They will act in accordance to the tenets you’ve espoused throughout their childhood. They will have a place to seek refuge when things get tough and they’ll have a strong moral compass when delving into the unknown. [MY OPINION]

**A Coherentists Lens:
**
Coherentists are often skeptical about the possibility of achieving absolute certainty. Certainty, they argue, is a result of overall coherence of the belief system derived from inside oneself rather than reliance on an external source.

Pyrrho of Elis argued that different people might perceive the same object in different ways, making it challenging to establish any objective certainty about the nature of things.

Grappling with Coherentism:

As a father following this path, understand that your children will have a different life than you and will inevitably perceive things differently. From their 5 senses to the events in their lives, your children will experience life differently. This will lead them to draw different conclusions about the world around them that will not be inherently true or false according to you. Give them the adequate tools to make the conclusions most aligned with yours but respect the path your children decide to take. [MY OPINION]

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
Your children will inevitably disagree with you on certain things and their opinions will change over time based on their changing experience. Your child will have to rely on you for emotional support when your child goes through tough times and they’ll rely on your advocacy, not your approval, when they wade into the unknown.

Clear Life Lessons

Be the pillar you are meant to be as a father. Take a moment in the early days of your children’s life to reflect on the path of fatherhood you believe resonates best with you. The good news is you don’t have to take a definitive stance on either side of the epistemological debate, but you should be consistent with the combination of the two you decide on.

Seek out the mentorship of older fathers who’ve raised their children in the manner you’d like to emulate and learn from them. With the help of other fathers and a clear understanding of the epistemology of your convictions you’ll be clear of contradictions and instill life changing lessons in your children.