We were good at keeping traditions. Though we eventually outgrew the days of stampeding through Grandma’s living room, her house remained our gathering place. The four of us—Alex, Ronnie, Ellis, and I—would settle on the back porch, the aroma of freshly baked pie still wafting through the air. We’d trade stories about our first crushes, our first kisses, and our dreams for the future, laughing in the warmth of a home that felt eternal.

Alex was the first to leave for college. He never really came back. Four years away, then a big-time job across the country.

Ronnie and Ellis—the twins—left a few years later. They never truly returned, either. Not the same, at least.

A cruel trick of biology had been lurking in the depths of their genes, lying in wait for the right moment to surface. In college, Ronnie was consumed by schizophrenia, while Ellis battled years of depression. They came back home, but they weren’t the same boys I had grown up with. The ones I had once sprinted through hallways with, laughing until our sides hurt, were lost to something none of us could chase down or outrun.

By the time I graduated, the scent of pie had vanished forever. My grandmother’s grave was my last stop before I, too, left town.

I never went back.

People leave in different ways. Some move to another city or another country. Some lose themselves to illness, slipping through our fingers even as they sit beside us. Some find their final resting place. All dearly departed.

What makes their departure so bittersweet is the time we once had with them—the memories we carry, the laughter that still echoes in the corners of our hearts.

That’s life. That’s what makes it worth it.

How Are We Defining Happiness?

In 1776, Thomas Jefferson penned the words that would echo through history:

“…that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

These words were not simply a poetic flourish—they reflected a deep understanding of philosophy, one that Jefferson, an avid reader of Aristotle, likely connected with the Greek concept ofeudaimonia.

Aristotle described eudaimonia as the highest form of human flourishing, achieved through virtuous living, strong character, and meaningful social bonds.

But what does happiness mean today?

According tothe World Happiness Report, six factors determine a nation's happiness:

1. Income
2. Health
3. Social support
4. Freedom to make life decisions
5. Generosity
6. The absence of corruption

These components closely mirror Jefferson’s vision of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Yet despite living in an era of unprecedented convenience and opportunity, many in our generation struggle with unhappiness, anxiety, and a pervasive sense of dissatisfaction.

So, what went wrong?

I believe its largely because of the absence of mentorship in modern society.

Aristotle emphasized that a person’s character—shaped by habits and guided by mentorship—was central to a flourishing life. He saw mentorship not as a luxury but as a necessity for cultivating wisdom, resilience, and social responsibility. Yet, in today’s world, strong mentor-mentee relationships have become increasingly rare.

When we invert Aristotle’s formula for happiness, we find the root causes of our collective unhappiness:

• A lack of mentorship and guidance
• Poor habits formed in the absence of discipline
• Excess and indulgence replacing moderation
• Rampant hypersensitivity rather than resilience
• A loss of moral grounding and sense of justice
• Struggles with forming and maintaining friendships
• Apathy toward civic engagement and community

Of all these, the absence of mentorship stands out as the foundational issue. Without guidance, young people are left to navigate life’s complexities alone, often falling into destructive habits.

In earlier generations, mentorship was woven into the fabric of society—through family, community leaders, apprenticeships, and even religious or philosophical instruction. Today, social media and fleeting digital interactions have replaced these deep, formative relationships.

Reclaiming Happiness Through Mentorship

To restore a sense of meaning and fulfillment, we must prioritize mentorship in our personal and professional lives. Parents, teachers, and leaders must recognize their responsibility to guide the next generation, not just with knowledge, but with wisdom. Seeking out mentors—and becoming one ourselves—can foster resilience, character, and purpose.

Happiness is not simply a product of material success or personal freedom; it is cultivated through relationships, values, and the pursuit of excellence. If we wish to see a happier generation, we must first rebuild the lost art of mentorship.

Thank you for reading!

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Financial Illiteracy is Tearing Down Millennia of Struggle

The Lost Art of Small Talk

Ah, the Holidays…
That time of year when we return where it all began. The hustle and grind of the past twelve months has built to a fever pitch, and whatever we’ve achieved — or failed to — clings to us like a weight on our shoulders as we step onto the doorsteps of home.

It’s a time of reunions, of seeing faces that knew us before careers, titles, and responsibilities etched lines into our brows. Eyes linger a moment too long, quietly assessing:

“Have they changed?”
“Have they succeeded?”
“How much weight have they gained — or lost?”

And then come the words — warm, congratulatory, or otherwise. “You look amazing!” they’ll gush, or worse, the silence of unspoken judgment.

Later, with old friends, the comparisons begin. It’s subtle, unspoken, but there. This year, as I stood in front of my best friend’s meticulously polished Porsche SUV, a gift to his wife, the voice in my head wasn’t congratulating him. It was whispering something else: envy.

I was happy for him — truly. I congratulated him on being in a position to give his wife something so extravagant. But as we spent the day together, subtle hints started to pile up, revealing there was more to his gift than I’d initially thought.

Since the last time I’d seen him, he’d grown significantly wealthier. There were comments and allusions that suggested he might even be a millionaire. What started as a faint whisper of envy in the back of my mind soon ignited into a flame of curiosity — and, I’ll admit, a touch of self-pity.

I couldn’t help but wonder: How the hell did he do it?

I tried to play it cool, to not make a fuss about it, but it was gnawing at me. I’d spent the last 12 months busting my ass, juggling work, two kids, and a wife, barely keeping my head above water.

He had kids. He was married. He worked a full-time job. Yet, somehow, he was fitter than me, his house was tidier than mine, and everything I struggled to maintain at a high standard seemed effortlessly better in his world.

What was I missing?

I fought the urge to chalk it up to something simple, like a secret inheritance from a wealthy relative I didn’t know about. Maybe, his grandfather passed and left him a fortune?

Our conversation deepened. I started to understand more about his daily routines and professional growth.

There was no silver bullet. No stroke of luck or hidden windfall. He was simply outworking me in every way imaginable.

Looking at him in his beautiful home, talking about his plans and the ways he still aspired to grow, took me back to when we were kids. Back to the times we would sit on the porch, watching cars roll by, projecting our dreams into the world.

He had turned those dreams into reality — and now, here he was, setting his sights on even higher ceilings to break through.

I felt a pang of shame for the envy stirring inside me.

What had I been doing wrong?

We were essentially the same person. We grew up in the same neighborhood, shared the same circle of friends all the way through college, believed in the same values, and approached life with the same mindset.

But as I listened to him, I realized we had the same foundations and potential, yet we executed differently. He was waking up at 4 a.m. to pursue the things he loved, knowing his busy days wouldn’t allow for it otherwise. Meanwhile, I was hitting snooze, sleeping until the last possible moment before scrambling to get the kids ready and start my day.

I’d been putting off the things I love — like writing. I’d turned down opportunities for higher-paying jobs because I feared they’d chip away at the little time I already had.

The envy I’d felt began to crystalize, forming a smooth, reflective surface — and staring back at me was my own face.

That’s when it hit me: I was actually lucky.

What better friend could I ask for than someone who serves as a reflection of a better version of myself? What better inspiration could there be than the drive to return next year and say, “Hey man, I’m right there with you.”

Not everyone returns from the holidays feeling inspired. Most head back to their “real” lives with bags of half-thought-out gifts, a few extra pounds around the waist, and the quiet relief of leaving their hometown behind.

Many start the new year armed with a list of goals but rarely with a clear vision of the person they want to become.

The seed of envy grew into something better in me; a desire to do more, to be more.

Cheers to you, bud. Here’s to the push I needed.

#Envy #growNostr #Friends