"If you do tomorrow what you did today, you will get tomorrow what you got today." - Benjamin Franklin

Seize the Day

Image from article- https://community.thriveglobal.com/want-your-authentic-self-mindfulness-is-a-gateway/Confliction

There are two conflicting approaches to life: Delay gratification today for a wealthy tomorrow and carpe diem Seize the Day and live like today is your last. Usually, when someone prescribes delayed gratification they refer to finances; save a dollar today for a hundred tomorrow. Carpe diem often refers to smelling the coffee, enjoying the little things and not putting off for tomorrow what could've been done today. 

I've never felt the two of those prescriptions collide more violently than now as a father of two beautiful kids. 
I find it more difficult than ever before to make decisions that might benefit my future over being present for my kids. Time being the finite thing that it is, often I can only choose one. 

Image from Adobe ImagesTwo Fathers, Two Approaches: Enough Small Moments Equal A Big Moment
My brother in-law and I have different approaches to this. He tends to delay gratification. More often than not, he's out on business and misses minor family events and outings. Meanwhile, I often choose to attend even the smallest family events as opposed to going on business. 

I should mention, my brother in-law doesn't dare miss the big events. He's always there for a birthday, baptism, or graduation but he misses outings to the beach or spring. He misses the books read by the bed and the dimming of the light just before a kiss goodnight. 

If you miss enough small moments, you a miss big one. 

Image from article- https://www.spiritualmom.com/god-is-weaving-a-tapestry/

Since my children were born I vowed to live as much in the moment as I could. In the moment, I'm happy to be with my kids stitching together cherished mementos that will be the tapestry of our lives. These indelible memories not only serve to make me happy but, I believe they'll work as the sinews and tendons that come together to form my children's personality and identity. My relationship with my kids and family will tighten as their persona grows.

I don't have facts from studies or scientific analysis, but I have a gut feeling its the strength of the tapestry of our lives that determines how resilient my children will be. When they encounter hard times they'll carry the uplifting memories of good times and they'll have the comfort of knowing there's a tightknit family at their backs to get through it.

That said, I've never heard my brother in-law complain about money. 

I can't say I struggle for cash either. I make ends meet, but my wife and I have experienced that nervous rush when the AC blows out mid-summer and we wonder if we would have enough to pay for the down payment of a new unit and the mortgage at the beginning of the month. 

What's been bothering me most as of late is my damn near non-existent retirement fund.

Image from ANATOMY OF A SOLDIER BY HARRY PARKER REVIEW - UNUSUAL PERSPECTIVES ON WARFARE FICTION

Commitments- To My Nation, To My Self

My biggest conflict today is tied to the commitment I made to the United States Army Reserves years before the birth of my children. While I can decide not to go on business like my brother in-law does, I can't simply not attend drill (one weekend a month) or go off on annual training (2–3 weeks a year). Failure to attend to my military obligations can result in a dis-honorable discharge. Having that hanging over my head will forever ruin any lucrative opportunities for employment and public service. 

More often than not, my relatively small obligation to the Army Reserves has stood in direct conflict with my desire to be present in my kids lives as well as the lives of my friends and family. Some how, I've had the misfortune of having drills and annual training scheduled on major events like weddings, baptisms, and birthdays; the very things I vow never to miss. 

 There are ways to request those special days off and make it up on a later date and when I can, I do. However, I've been forced to go unaccounted for on several occasions when special events are back to back and overlap with already requested days off. That's led to conflict in the past but, I've been fortunate enough to have good leaders who've understood why I preferred to be absent in the military over absent in a major life event. 
It would be easiest, and most convenient, to resign my congressional commission as an officer and leave the Army Reserves. This is when I feel that great internal conflict. 

Serving in the Army Reserves allows me to give back to my nation and grants me several financial benefits that would otherwise be completely lost. Medical insurance is remarkably cheaper than what I would have to deal with as a civilian. I get a world of benefits when purchasing a house and I can apply for special grants if ever needed. Perhaps most important of all, if I stick around for the full 20 years (I have almost 9 now) I will have a very nice retirement pension waiting for me when I turn 65. This is where that differed gratification really kicks in. 

When I really boil it down to pros and cons, there's just way too many pros to staying in the Reserves than cons. 

Image of Jordan Peterson from Video Clip- "4 years video"

Phases of Life Approach

World renown psychologist Jordan Peterson says "you have little kids for 4 years and if you miss it, its done." For Jordan, this is time period is peak experience for your kids. As I write this, my eldest just turned two and my youngest is 9 months. I'm not quite halfway there yet and I can't let up now. 

I don't want to test to see if what Jordan Peterson says is true, I'm going to continue living as much in the moment as is possible during these early years of my children's lives. If I stay in the army reserves throughout this time I will have had 13 years of service by the time my youngest is 4. 

Taking this approach, I will have been very present in the first 4 years of my kids lives and will only have to serve seven more years to acquire that retirement. 

For me, today is Gold and tomorrow is Silver.

People have sacrificed worse. 

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I want to show the world that life is a scroll riddled with ink. The marks will only ever be simple blots on the parchment unless you pause and perceive them for the characters they are.

I'm constantly thinking about what the future could look like if we just take action.

More of my thoughts about the future and the world around us are coming soon...

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