3 Philosophical Tenets a Father Must Come to Grips With Over His Convictions

A Pillar Of The Family

Children are born into chaos.

Nature is tumultuous, its in a constant state of flux and your child’s soul begins in much the same way. It is formless and malleable, it will take the form of what surrounds it.

As a father, you’ve taken form.

Years of chaos have hardened and settled you to something more permanent, a pillar. In partnership with your spouse you’ll build a structure around your little balls of chaos and, in time, their chaos will settle too.

What becomes of them is up to you.

The lessons you teach will define the shape of the structure you place over your children. The strength in you as a pillar holding this whole thing up will be determined by the intentionality of your convictions.

The task will not be easy, but, believe me, it sure as hell will be the most important thing you do.

It will serve as the lens through which your children perceive the world around them.

It will crystallize in the glass within the mirror where they’ll gaze at their own reflection. Whether they smile or frown at what they see staring back, will be on you.

Whether society seeks to embrace or exile them. It will be on you.

Whether they choose to revel or rebel in the face of the world they live in. It will be on you.

Luckily, you don’t have to construct your convictions in solitude. The Nature of Justification, Circularity, and Epistemic Certainty are 3 tenets that philosophers such as Rene Descartes (1596–1650), John Locke (1632–1704), Pyrrho of Elis (360–270 BCE), and Wilfrid Sellars (1912–1989) [coupled together by epistemological school of thought] have grappled with, and if followed, will solidify the way you form the lessons you teach your children in a manner that will follow a logical clarity and grant you self-confidence.

Epistemology- Foundationalism VS Coherentism

“Why is the sky blue?” is a question many children ask.

A parent might answer with, “Because of the reflection of the sunlight against the blue ocean.”

“Why is the ocean blue?”

This would continue infinitely, but likely, most parents either end up with a question they don’t have an answer for or just attempt to distract their children with something else.

A child keeps asking follow up questions because something inside them seeks an innate truth. Your children will be no different and will seek the same. Luckily for you, there were Philosophers who’ve endeavored to arrive at this innate truth, the answer lying at the bottom of the endless pit of questioning. They were known as Epistemologists: people who study knowledge.

Are you ready for this? The Nature of Justification, Circularity, and Epistemic Certainty are among several of the key questions Epistemologists asked themselves and over time, two schools of thought among philosophers took form.

One school of thought was the Foundationalists, those like Rene Descartes (1596–1650) and John Locke (1632- 1704) who believed that there are indeed certain unbreakable foundations of knowledge in which a person’s convictions arise from having beliefs grounded in self-evident or inarguable foundations.

Another school of thought was the Coherentists, those like Pyrrho of Elis (360–270 BCE) and Wilfrid Sellars (1912–1989) who believed that conviction comes from the harmony and logical coherence of one’s very thoughts.

I suggest figuring out where you stand in the philosophical debate to remain logically sound and confident in yourself as a major pillar for your family. This will help you deal with complex obstacles to parenting when teaching ethics, morals, and other life sculpting lessons.

Coming To Grips With The Nature of Justification

**A Foundationalist’s lens:
**
“I think, therefore I am,” are the famous words written by Rene Descartes. It was what formed his Cogito Argument which proposed that the very fact he knows he exists proves that, at the very minimum, his existence is undoubtedly true.

Among being a prominent mathematician, Descartes was a religious man. He found refuge in his Judeo-Christian faith by justifying his Cogito Argument with the fact that there exists a benevolent and non-deceptive God. He argued that a benevolent God would never deceive him in his clear and distinct perceptions.

I know that I exist and God wouldn’t deceive me in this fact. This formed the justification for innate truth.

**Grappling with Foundationalism:
**
As a father following this path, choose to establish religion or natural law as your north star when standing by your convictions. The answer to the infinite questions will always be this foundation. You would answer, “Because God intended it to be this way” or “Because that is how it works in nature.”

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
Lessons following this method may lead your children to be very confident adults who don’t seek much change because they intimately understand where they stand in the world and where they belong. [MY OPINION]

**A Coherentists Lens:
**
Coherentists rejected the idea of foundational beliefs and argued that justification comes from the coherence of beliefs within a system.

In a very distilled manner, they didn’t care for the chicken before the egg argument. They believed the egg didn’t matter without the chicken. In the context of the very system in which a chicken and egg exists, one is nothing without the other and the order which they follow doesn’t matter and is a waste of time to think about.

In the times of ancient Greece, philosophers known as skeptics took to the streets to challenge the societal norms of the era. What was often understood as deliberately contrarian would later solidify a coherent method of philosophy that sought a path to empirical investigation of reality that could lead to the most reliable knowledge. This kind of thinking is what gave rise to the scientific method.

Pyrrho of Elis, founder of Pyrrhinian skepticism, advocated for a form of skepticism that involved the suspension of judgment (Epoche) in order to achieve tranquility (Ataraxia). He argued that since human beings cannot know the true nature of things, it is wiser to refrain from making dogmatic claims about the world.

**Grappling with Coherentism:
**
As a father following this path, choose to better understand the current society, the era, and what kind of world your children will be living in when standing by your convictions. The answer to the infinite questions will always follow a similar formula: “Well, son, we live in [x society] and here, people find [x] to be true based on [x]”

Your convictions will not be defined by a “North Star” like a foundationalist’s would, but rather by a systematic approach that always follows the questions by explaining the system.

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
This approach will guarantee your children will be able to fit in any situation or group of people without much confrontation and because of this, they may seek to travel extensively. They’ll have a thirst to venture out and take part in other world cultures. [MY OPINION]

Coming To Grips With Circularity

A Foundationalists Lens:

John Locke was a colossal figure in western philosophy whose writings went so far as to pave the way for modern capitalist economies. Chief among his writings was “An Essay Concerning Human Understanding” where he wrote his epistemological arguments.

Finding a more foundationalist approach to the study of knowledge, he warned of “Trifling Propositions” or reasoning in a circle and was highly cautious about the misuse of language and the potential for circular reasoning.

Locke emphasized the importance of clear and distinct ideas and cautioned against using words without a clear understanding of their meaning.

**Grappling with Foundationalism:
**
As a father following this path, be intentional in the words you say and tie them to your foundational beliefs. Here, words have definitive meanings and don’t leave room for interpretation.

**Your Children as an Adult:
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Your children will not be easily persuaded or fall for propaganda as they will have an intimate understanding of the lexicon they use and will raise objections when words are not used the way they were intended to be used. [MY OPINION]

**A Coherentists Lens:
**
Wilfrid Sellars was an American philosopher and prominent developer of critical realism, who revolutionized both the content and the method of philosophy in the United States.

Wilfrid contended that circular reasoning was not particularly problematic. He emphasized the importance of conceptual frameworks and language in forming beliefs and rejected the idea of a conceptual given as the starting point of knowledge.

He famously refuted the “Myth of the given” and argued that any experience is inherently shaped by the conceptual framework through which it is interpreted and it is in circular reasoning that one can process the interconnectedness of said framework.

**Grappling with Coherentism:
**
As a father following this path, explore the origins of words with your children and guide them through the evolution of understanding. Here, words have a life and a history and you may uncover lessons in following the course of that history.

Your Children as an Adult:

Your children will be interested in the contemporary utility of words. They’ll better understand slang and dialects and will be more contemplative before taking action. They may not be as decisive as they’ll find themselves in circular thought when arriving at a decision. [MY OPINION]

Coming To Grips With Epistemic Certainty

**A Foundationalists Lens:
**
Returning to Descartes, we see how mathematical proofs and religious text can be used as the progenitors of truth.

Certainty is guaranteed by an external source. Math allows us to be incredibly precise in our measurements of the physical world and we can predict with great levels of accuracy actions and reactions. Likewise, religious texts define how one should live their life and what the results of such a path will be. Every action has a predictable reaction.

**Grappling with Foundationalism:
**
As a father following this path, you must be an expert in the source which validates your certainty. If you are going to use religion as the guarantor of certainty for your convictions you must intimately understand the religious text you’ll be drawing from. Try to steer clear from interpretation of the text. Seek help from experts when you don’t know something and use expert guidance in your teachings. If you’re not particularly religious, find a coherent thread of natural law and become an expert in it or seek out experts to help formulate your lessons.

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
The source of your teachings will be intimate parts of your children’s identity. They will act in accordance to the tenets you’ve espoused throughout their childhood. They will have a place to seek refuge when things get tough and they’ll have a strong moral compass when delving into the unknown. [MY OPINION]

**A Coherentists Lens:
**
Coherentists are often skeptical about the possibility of achieving absolute certainty. Certainty, they argue, is a result of overall coherence of the belief system derived from inside oneself rather than reliance on an external source.

Pyrrho of Elis argued that different people might perceive the same object in different ways, making it challenging to establish any objective certainty about the nature of things.

Grappling with Coherentism:

As a father following this path, understand that your children will have a different life than you and will inevitably perceive things differently. From their 5 senses to the events in their lives, your children will experience life differently. This will lead them to draw different conclusions about the world around them that will not be inherently true or false according to you. Give them the adequate tools to make the conclusions most aligned with yours but respect the path your children decide to take. [MY OPINION]

**Your Children as an Adult:
**
Your children will inevitably disagree with you on certain things and their opinions will change over time based on their changing experience. Your child will have to rely on you for emotional support when your child goes through tough times and they’ll rely on your advocacy, not your approval, when they wade into the unknown.

Clear Life Lessons

Be the pillar you are meant to be as a father. Take a moment in the early days of your children’s life to reflect on the path of fatherhood you believe resonates best with you. The good news is you don’t have to take a definitive stance on either side of the epistemological debate, but you should be consistent with the combination of the two you decide on.

Seek out the mentorship of older fathers who’ve raised their children in the manner you’d like to emulate and learn from them. With the help of other fathers and a clear understanding of the epistemology of your convictions you’ll be clear of contradictions and instill life changing lessons in your children.